K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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