so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
