Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
