im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
