just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's never too late to be topless.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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