Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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