My friends, they love my intelligence
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
