Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
