Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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