Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
