apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
