i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
