Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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