I think im going to throw up on grandma
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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