I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
