And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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