I bet he comes in French.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
