it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
