I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
pray to the hookup gods
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
