the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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