i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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