dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize
