Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
