I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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