Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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