If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The ass gains better be worth it
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