No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
