: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
