you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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