you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
