In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
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