I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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