I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
