Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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