He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
