Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
