whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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