..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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