I want to stick my p in your. b.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Vodka?
Forever.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
