so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
