we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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