I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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