Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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