this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
