Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
