did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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