the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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