So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
