I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
