I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
