I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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