Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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