If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
