just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
