Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
