No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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