I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
